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Let’s begin today with a simple maths equation:

Every single person born since computer use became widespread has experienced the annoyance of their parents, grandparents or other adult relatives asking them to show them how to “send an electronic mail”, “browse the interweb”, or “turn the blinkin’ screen on”, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say it’s incredibly frustrating.

You know you should be patient with them (after all, they were patient with you when you were a wee nipper struggling to put your t-shirt on the right way round), but computers are so easy to those of us who grew up with them that it’s just impossible for us to comprehend how a fully-grown adult can’t grasp the concept of copy and paste.

Now, as with basically everything else in the entire world, Google have come to the rescue. The boffins at Google Towers have created Send Your Parents A Tech Support Care Package, an unnecessarily wordy but very useful website that does exactly what it says on the tin. Fill out the 30-second form on the front page and you can send them a personalised email that will teach them everything they need to know about your chosen subject.

Now if they could only invent a time machine so I could go back and retrieve the hours of my life lost before they’d thought of it…

Welcome back! Did you have a good weekend? Glad to hear it. Today we’re going to talk to you about recycling, but don’t run away just yet! We won’t be admonishing you for not doing your bit, we’re going to be showing you some of the most innovative, interesting and incredibly insane repurposing attempts we’ve ever seen!

Tribhüsli

This is the Tribhüsli, four small CD cases that have been turned into a greenhouse and shrub protector. Sick of woodland creatures chowing down on your cabbages? Want your sprouts to get more sun? Pop down to HMV and buy 4 obsolete CD singles!

T-Fresh

Tea in the toilet! Whilst it’s probably best not to think about what colour this might turn the water, a strong teabag is bound to be cheaper than an official refill pack, and it opens up a whole world of new smells for your bathroom.

Fensterschlafer

Sam’s own personal favourite, this ingenious adaptation of an old pair of swimming goggles means he’ll be able to sleep for hours next time he’s off touring the country with Scholars. Although Mandy and I think a cushion would probably do the job better…

Sommerpedale

Cycling barefoot should be wonderful, but pedals and bare feet go together like a horse and marriage. But by attaching a couple of washing pads to your pedals, you can have that cool breeze on your tootsies and avoid foot pain!

Nuggiweg

Now, I’m not a parent, but if I wanted to severely injure my toddler then I imagine I’d invent something like this. The inventor claims it’s a harmless miniature cactus stand, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s a risk you probably shouldn’t take if you have a baby in the house.

For more insane images, check out the list HERE.

The iPhone is both the best and most frustrating invention of the modern era. It’s fantastic, it gives us an almighty amount of information and communications at our fingertips and it’s one of the must-have gadgets of the 21^st century. However, the damn thing drinks battery power like Charlie Sheen in a tiger blood bar. We’ve got a couple of portable chargers on our site, and there are several others out there, but today a man named Joao Paulo Lammoglia has come up with the most absolutely insane way to charge an iPhone in the brief but technologically eventful history of Apple.

The AIRE mask does exactly what you’re thinking “well it looks like it does that, but surely that would just be mental?”. You charge your iPhone (or iPod, we don’t discriminate) by breathing into the mask, which uses what we can only assume is a combination of witchcraft and Star Wars technology to keep your device topped up.

Actually, it’s reportedly just miniature wind turbines that spin when you breathe, but we thought our initial description sounded cooler. Although it’s an astounding piece of technology, we’re willing to bet that it will never be a success basically down to the fact that you look like Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat when wearing it; it’s not going to do you any good to have a fully charged iPhone when you’re already finished off every single one of your friends in a fit of violent, 2D 16-bit rage.

To be fair to the designer, it’s also been made so that it works in your sleep, which could be useful if you were actually able to sleep with a mask like that on your face. It’s only a prototype, so we can’t be sure, but I’m willing to bet that the turbines make a bit of noise too, so you won’t even have to snore loudly to be awoken by your own breathing.

Don’t get us wrong, we appreciate the concept and think it’s definitely something that has potential… but not like this. Back to the drawing board, Mr. Lammoglia. Thanks for your time.